Maybe Divination Isn't That Bad
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: [WARNING: Slash][RLSB][OneShot][MWPP Era] In the beginning of their thirdyear, the Gryffindors are assigned to keep a diary. Within all of the privacy, Sirius helps Remus in a way he never thought he could. But he does make a mistake, too... Happy Ending!


"How is this going to help us in the future? I don't plan on becoming a mind reader!" Sirius wailed loudly, flailing his Divination books onto the couch.

Remus sighed, glaring up at Sirius. "It's mandatory, Sirius. You can't ignore it."

James sunk into the armchair next to them. "I agree with Sirius. It's only the first year of Divination and I already hate it."

Sirius nodded eagerly in agreement. "Palm reading is _stupid_. And I hate tea."

"No you don't," Remus interrupted suddenly. "You love that peppermint tea that they have around Christmastime."

"Yes, but the kind that they make you drink in Divination is black tea. Reminds me… reminds me of home." Sirius finished quietly.

James joined Sirius on the couch, patting his shoulder reassuringly. "Why don't we skip and steal pie from the kitchens?"

"No!" Remus screamed, before James could continue or Sirius could have the same idea. "You can't skip! The year just started – you _can't_ start it with detention!"

James rolled his eyes. "We skipped last year, it's not a big deal if you don't get caught."

"It's a big deal either way, caught or not! I will _not_ let you skive off of classes! You're going to Divination!" Remus shouted firmly, standing up determinedly. He snatched up his book bag, shoving his _Unfogging The Future_ into it.

Sirius sighed, getting off of the couch with unnecessary laziness. "Fine."

"Coming?" Remus snapped at James, who followed them sluggishly.

"Now… only to find the North Tower."

Sirius laughed, grabbing Remus' arm to stop him. "Wait a minute – are you telling us that you don't even know where Divination is?"

Remus shrugged Sirius off uncomfortably. "Perhaps some friendly Prefect will help us."

"Yeah," James said sarcastically. "The wimpy third years are the first ones the snobby Heads will run up to. They think we're bloody brats."

The werewolf threw James a nasty glare.

---

Remus climbed the silver ladder to the Divination classroom breathlessly, the others in pursuit as he scrambled onto the landing. He heard Sirius cough uncontrollably behind him.

"This place _wreaks_. Half-grandma and half-too-old-incenses." He muttered bitterly.

"It's… calming." Remus said, even though his nose was wrinkled unpleasantly.

They were one of the few ones there; only three others sitting on pillows randomly sprawled about the room.

Sirius raced straight to the window, opening it widely with a smile on his face. "Ahh… fresh air."

James scrambled next to him, both of them sharing a large fluffy pillow.

People entered the room soon afterwards at parading paces, most of them late, until their teacher awkwardly glided into the room.

"Welcome," He said with a wrinkled smile. "Leave your books where they are… and could someone please hand out these books over here instead – ah, Miss Evans, would you take the liberty? Thank you." The teacher smirked as the red-haired girl grabbed a stack of brown-leather-covered books and distributed them. James blushed as she came over to their table.

"Hey – Evans!" He whispered. "Third years can visit the village…" He said suggestively, raising his eyebrows.

"So?" Lily snapped, handing Remus his book.

"Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?"

Lily smacked James over the head with his book, snarling at him and Sirius, who was chuckling next to James uncontrollably.

"Open your books." The teacher commanded.

Remus, quite curious, flicked open the blank leather cover, and then gaped at a blank page in front of him.

"These… are not your average books. They are diaries."

With several gasps following, Remus blankly stared disbelievingly.

"Diaries?" Sirius piped up loudly. "We're not girls, Professor."

The Professor looked at Sirius oddly. "Mr. Black, is it?" Sirius nodded. "Do you dream, Mr. Black?" He nodded. "Do you experience life?" He nodded again. "Then you should have no problem writing in a diary."

Sirius snarled.

"A page a day at least. One page for your day and one page for your dream. These will not be shared with the class… simply analyzed by your partners, which you can take the liberty to choose."

---

By the end of class, James had persuaded Lily to be his partner, Sirius had landed with Remus, and Peter – who hadn't been picked by anyone, was paired with the teacher, which mostly everyone found rather amusing.

"So, Remus…" Sirius said, opening his diary. "What are you gonna write?"

"We're supposed to analyze when we finish the entire thing, Sirius," Remus said, grabbing his quill. "Not before we have even started writing."

On the board, _Write in your first page of your diary._ Was written with neat chalk. Sirius shrugged. "Here we go." He mumbled.

The entire class quieted, and started writing.

Except Remus.

A bloody diary. He was supposed to write in a diary, when at the moment, his mind was blank. Anything coursing through his brain was private. Strictly private.

_Anything you'll write in your diary will only be shared by your partner._

Remus glanced at Sirius, who had his tongue between his teeth in concentration and was writing on and on past the first page.

_Concentrate_. The tawny-haired boy thought determinedly, and then stared at the page.

_Hi. My name's Remus Lupin, I'm thirteen years old and I'm in my third year. I love reading and writing._

That was about it… all he wanted to share, at least.

Remus took another glance at Sirius and then sighed.

_I have three great friends. They're names are Sirius, James, and Peter. They like skipping classes and playing pranks on teachers, but I like keeping out of trouble and getting homework done. But one thing we all like to do is eat chocolate and be around each other. We all met in a train compartment on the Hogwarts Express in First Year._

_Peter was the last one to enter the compartment three years ago. He seems sort of tag-alongish, and gets caught by teachers more than even James and Sirius do. I don't think he ever thinks things through._

_James is a great friend. He's loyal and even though he and Sirius don't study, they still get top marks miraculously. His famous trait is definitely his immovable hair. James seems to be lusting after one particular girl, but that never stops him from having fun with his friends. I like that about him._

_Sirius is probably the friend that I relate to the most. He's extremely important to me, since I can talk to him better than James or Peter. I know that James is Sirius' best friend, but I think that Sirius is definitely mine. Somehow he's always there for me when I need him to be and he's smart enough to keep our pranks safe. Sometimes I wish that Sirius would like me as much as he likes James._

---

Sirius smiled as he finished his page, brushing wisps of hair behind his ear as he reread it.

_My name's Sirius, but you probably already know that because I'm extremely popular. Haha. Remus hates it when I say that._

_I just found out that one of my best friends is a werewolf last year. This year I'm trying to help Remus, but I have no idea how to. What can a stupid thirteen-year-old do in such a situation? But I really can't stand to see Remus in such pain. I wish inspiration would come to me._

_Remus forced me into this class. I think that he's always the one to keep me on track. Mostly because I hate calendars._

_James and I are planning a prank on Snivellus. We were going to put beetles in his lunch, but McGonagall caught us… I still didn't tell Remus that I already got detention in the first week of school. He dragged us to Divination simply because he didn't want us to get it._

_This is actually kind of fun._

---

"I _hate_ Divination!" Remus yelled furiously, throwing his bag onto the floor as the four of them entered the common room. Someone reading in the corner cautiously peered over their book. Remus sent an apologetic look towards them.

James fell onto the couch. "I don't know what you're talking about… you were right, Remus. Divination is a hell of a time."

Sirius grinned. "I know."

"Wha – you don't agree with him, do you, Sirius?" Remus asked incredulously. Sirius shrugged.

"It was… fun."

"How can you say that?!" The tawny-haired boy screeched. "Writing a diary that you have to share is extremely embarrassing! I have to write about my life and _everything_ in my life seems to be a secret these days."

"You only share it with me." Sirius said. Remus blushed.

"Er – yeah."

"Remus! What is it that you wanna write in there that you don't even want _me_ to see?" Sirius asked interestedly.

"Honestly – nothing," Remus lied through his teeth. "I… I think I'll call it a night."

James raised his eyebrows. "Well. That was certainly interesting," Sirius nodded, sitting down next to him. "What do you think he doesn't want you to know?"

Sirius shrugged. "Could be anything. I thought that when he told us he was a werewolf he didn't have any more secrets."

"Maybe he has more."

---

It wasn't that he didn't know how to keep a secret. It was simply that he didn't know how to keep it a secret that he had a secret. And then after that – learning how to not slip it out accidentally.

He folded his robes as Remus shrugged them off of his shoulders, slipping into his pajamas instead. He would be in his bed – but he certainly wouldn't sleep.

_Be discreet_. Remus mumbled to himself in his head, closing the hangings to his bed. _Be silent. Ignore it all_.

He was just slipping under the covers to grab his book and worry over his life, when he felt the burgundy curtains open again.

"Sirius…? What do you want?" Remus asked, trying to hide his shock.

"It's funny that you sound as though you want me gone." Sirius said, sitting down on the opposite side of the bed. He stared at Remus.

"I – sorry," The werewolf mumbled. "It's just–"

"Look, Remus, you can have your secrets," Sirius dismissed right away. "It's kind of stupid. I thought I knew everything about you. Turns out I didn't."

His tone was so depressed, so rejected, that Remus hurriedly took hold of his hands and smiled lightly. "You do. Believe me, Sirius, you do know everything about me. More than I know about myself."

The black-haired boy glanced down at their linked hands. The corner of his mouth titled upwards – a motion that Remus could only hope was a smile.

Sirius stroked one of the scars on his friend's hand. "We'll find a cure, Remus." He mumbled.

Remus confusedly looked at Sirius. "What?"

"This," He said. "Your lycanthropy. We'll put a stop to it."

"That's impossible, Sirius. There's no _cure_."

"Then we'll help you. I'll make sure that you won't have to go through this pain as badly as you do now. It's not fair to you."

Remus smiled. "What did I ever do to deserve you? You… you're like my loyal dog. Like my pet."

"And you're my wolf." Sirius leant over and embraced Remus, face in his shoulder.

They both fell asleep like that.

---

"You should have at least one entry in your diaries now," The Professor said briskly the next day. "And now is your time to enter your dream entry and today's entry. Begin."

Sirius immediately started writing his dream entry.

_I had a really interesting dream. Remus was standing at the Whomping Willow, smiling at me. He was saying:_

"_You're my dog and I'm your wolf. Wolfs and dogs come from the same family, you know. It's like we're related… emotionally. It's like I'm not alone in a sense that is deeper than under the skin."_

_And then out of nowhere things turned dark and a full moon appeared. Remus' eyes filled with fear and he transformed. And then, I was a dog. And the werewolf looked at me with almost comfort… a need. And then all of a sudden the werewolf stopped screaming. And everything seemed to be okay._

---

Remus' diary entry:

_I'm different than most people expect. I'm a werewolf and no one knows but my deepest friends because people look at me like I'm different when they find out and it's the worst feeling the world to be shunted out like that. _

_Yesterday I realized that I would never be shunted out._

_Not by Sirius, at least._

_He promised to cure me. He promised to help me. He promised to be my dog, and I promised to be his wolf. It makes me feel as though it's okay to be different. And it seemed like only his words had already helped. For a moment, I had felt cured._

_I hate to keep secrets from him, but after all, I'm doing it so we can stay friends._

---

Sirius' diary entry:

_If you're name isn't Remus Lupin, please shove off right now._

_Remus told me yesterday that he wasn't keeping secrets from me, but I know that he is. The nice thing is, is that Remus has only lied to me once in his life, and that was when the whole werewolf fiasco. He was afraid that we would leave him. Remus barely ever lies, so I know that now he's lying for an obviously important reason. _

_But what if it's something bad? What if he's afraid I would leave him if he told me? What if it's something worse than lycanthropy?_

_I don't know how so many bad things could happen to such a good person._

---

Remus' dream entry:

_Sirius and I were sitting in the Shrieking Shack, and we were basically continuing the conversation we had been having on my bed. _

"_I'll always protect you, Remus."_

_And then I nodded._

_The almost full moon then loomed somewhat near the window and Sirius looked at it._

"_You'll never be alone when I'll be there. The moon won't hurt you."_

"_I hate the moon." I had said._

"_The moon is beautiful. And so are you," Sirius said, and then he cupped my jaw. "I should call you Moony."_

_It was an incredibly short dream, but that is all I seem to remember._

---

It was funny that Sirius was sitting _behind_ him today in Transfiguration. Usually Sirius would always sit next to him.

Remus oddly glanced behind his shoulder, where Sirius was actually immersed in the lesson. _That's new_. The werewolf thought.

McGonagall transformed herself into a cat twice. "The Animagus can be a highly powerful creature. It allows good forms of escaping, hiding, and dodging things from simple spells to death. It is illegal to become one if you are underage, and if you are unregistered."

It was funny that Sirius was really listening to this. Why were Animagi so important to him compared to turning teacups into rats?

When McGonagall switched topics to how to register yourself as an Animagus, Remus felt something hit him in the back of his head, and he turned quickly to catch a ball of paper from falling onto the floor. He unfolded it.

_I found a way to help you_.

Remus stared perplexedly at the creased parchment, before he felt another ball of paper hit him in the head.

_Look in the diary. Page four._

Sirius shoved his Divination Diary onto Remus' shoulder from behind, and Remus hurriedly pushed it underneath his desk to read the right page discreetly.

He turned to page four, where it showed Sirius' dream entry of the day. He read the entire thing. How was this supposed to help Remus?

Remus turned in his seat again casually. He mouthed:

"How is this supposed to help me?" To Sirius, who grinned, and then pointed at McGonagall, who was still ranting on about the Animagus.

"We become Animagi." He mouthed back.

---

Sirius' diary entry:

_I think that I have finally found a way to help Remus, and I owe it all to this diary. If I hadn't written down my dream and actually analyzed it, I would have forgotten about it and never given it another thought. But now I know that my dreams are important. They helped me help Remus, and that means that world to me._

_How did I miss it before?_

---

Remus' diary entry:

_I don't know how Sirius gets more charming every day, but somehow he manages it. His smile positively makes me melt, and every time he is happy because he helped me, I feel so warm inside that I just want to kiss him as a thank you. Forever._

_Today, in Transfiguration, when McGonagall was talking about Animagi, Sirius gave me a part of his diary, a dream, where he helps me by becoming a dog. And then he smiled at me like he was so glad that he could help me – looking so accomplished, that I almost cried. He wants to help me, but sacrificing everything. He's risking a lot. He's risking Azkaban – illegally becoming an Animagus – just for me. Part of me wants to stop him because I don't want him to ever leave me _because_ of me. But another part of me feels like I should just let him do it. I was so delighted when he told me of his idea, but I can't imagine how happy I'll be when he actually will do it._

_God, I love him. Maybe too much._

---

"I had an idea,"

"A bloody good idea." Remus said from the armchair, and felt Sirius smile broadly at him.

"Okay… what was the idea?" James asked languidly.

"Well, it's not so much an idea as a command. I don't want Remus going through any more pain, especially if I found a way to help it."

Peter's eyes grew wide, and James gaped open-mouthingly.

"We're becoming Animagi."

"I – Sirius, mate – that's illegal, and it would take _ages_–" James said, rather worried at Sirius' firmness in the situation.

"I'm not letting Remus get hurt anymore. Are you in or not?"

"You could land in Azkaban–" James persisted.

"Then I'll land in Azkaban!" Sirius shouted determinedly. "With pride. Knowing that I did something actually important in my life. Is nobody with me here? Come on. James? Peter?"

Peter squeaked. James looked at the floor heavily.

"I… I'll do it." He said.

Peter looked rather afraid now.

"What's the matter, Pete?" Sirius snarled. "Are you afraid that you'll land in jail?"

Peter swallowed rather audibly.

"N-No…"

"Then you'll do it," Sirius finalized loudly. He stalked over to Remus and put his hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "I'll… I'll be a dog."

James smiled faintly. "Lily told me what her favorite animal was today."

"What was it?"

"A stag," He muttered. "I could be a stag."

Sirius looked at Peter piercingly. "Well? What will you be?"

Peter shrugged. "Perhaps something small. Then I could hide from danger!"

James laughed, slapping Peter on the back playfully. "It could be helpful when we do pranks, Pete. But nothing too small, okay? You don't want to be squished accidentally."

---

"I had a dream the other night." Remus mumbled quietly, playing with the sheets of Sirius' bed. Sirius smiled at him.

"So did I. We all did."

"No – it – it was different. It felt real," The werewolf said, trying to get his point across with the right words. He leant against the headrest contemplatively. "We were in the Shrieking Shack."

Sirius nodded.

"And… and you were saying that you would protect me forever. You would protect me from the moon." Remus said quietly. He felt Sirius take his hand.

"You had a very accurate dream them. I'll always protect you, Rem."

"I'm not done yet," The tawny-haired boy said. "Then the moon was there… and I said that I hated the moon. And then you said that the moon was beautiful. A-And so was I."

Sirius blushed furiously along with Remus. He hastily let go of his friend's hand.

"Er…"

"And then," Remus said, looking everywhere but Sirius. "You said that's why you would call me Moony."

His eyes met Sirius', who was smiling.

"Moony," He murmured. "I like that."

Remus flushed.

"C-Can I call you Moony?" Sirius asked tentatively.

"Why not?" Remus agreed, and the two of them grinned.

---

Sirius' Dream Entry:

_If I'm supposed to pay attention to my dreams, then I am definitely very confused. I had a dream that all of us became Animagi. I was a big black dog, James was his stag, and Peter – funnily enough – was a rat. A nosy, small (slightly smelly) tag-along/scurry-after rat. It sort of fit him. Not that I'm going to call him rat-boy after this or anything… but perhaps I should suggest it to him to become a rat._

_Well, after we were all Animagi – of course, we looked a lot older, which scares me, because I don't want Remus to have to wait that long – we were celebrating. Really good Firewhiskey. I don't know if we were drunk or if I actually wanted to do it – but then I kissed Remus. And he kissed me back. And it felt a bit too good than it should._

---

Remus' Diary Entry:

_I can't believe what great friends I have. They all have agreed to become Animagi. For me. And it was Sirius' idea. It makes me feel so special that he worries so much about me._

_I told him yesterday my dream. He obviously didn't seem to find it appealing when I told him that in the dream he called me beautiful. I'm actually really depressed about it, which surprises me. I always knew that Sirius had never thought of me in that way. Why should I be upset now because he simply confirmed it by showing his uneasiness at the subject? I'm not even sure if he's gay. I should have joked about it – not made the entire dream seem so sentimental. _

_I just hope that he won't hate me because I'm homosexual._

_And that I'm in love with him._

---

"Only a few days before we turn in our diaries, Rem!" Sirius said excitedly, jumping onto the pillows of the couch.

Remus was rather uneasy about that. He was supposed to swap diaries with Sirius – who would read all of his private thoughts, and then probably be disgusted. Leaving Remus friendless. He didn't want to risk that.

"I… Look, Sirius," Remus said carefully, folding closed his Charms book. "I don't know if we should swap ours."

Sirius' enthusiasm seemed to deflate out of his face. "What? But – but that's part of the assignment!"

"I know," He wrung his hands. "It's just that I would really feel uncomfortable doing that."

Sirius sat down next to Remus, his face showing rejection of a toddler. "But Moony," Remus couldn't help smiling. That was the first time he had used their new nickname. "You said you didn't have any secrets from me."

"I just don't think you'll understand what I was writing, that's all."

"Let me try!" Sirius pleaded.

Remus guiltily shook his head. "I'm sorry, Sirius. Please…?"

---

Agreeing on that was the stupidest thing Sirius had ever done. It was an assignment Remus wasn't to skive off on, and it seemed like Sirius' turn to help him avoid detention.

And, he really wanted to read that diary.

---

Yes, he felt guilty, he even felt as though this was going beyond the limits of pranking, destroying Remus' privacy like this – since he knew that Remus' secrecy was not a funny prank to pull – but he had been intrigued. And now that the leather bound journal was in his hands, he didn't want to put it down again.

He flipped to the first page.

_Hi. My name's Remus Lupin, I'm thirteen years old and in my third year_.

Remus had been incredibly bland for the first line. Even Remus was more open around Sirius and James and Peter. He obviously didn't want t reveal his secrets in a diary. Perhaps Sirius wasn't going to find out anything in this at all. Remus maybe just wanted to keep his diary to himself.

A rock settled into his stomach as Sirius felt as though he had betrayed Remus' trust. Something told him to keep reading, though, and not put it back in Remus' locked trunk where it should be.

_Go! Put it back where it belongs before you read anything that you aren't supposed to read! This is Remus' privacy!_

However, he ignored the guilty squirm inside him and flipped the page.

_Sirius is probably the friend that I relate to the most. He's extremely important to me, since I can talk to him better than James or Peter. I know that James is Sirius' best friend, but I think that Sirius is definitely mine. Somehow he's always there for me when I need him to be and he's smart enough to keep our pranks safe. Sometimes I wish that Sirius would like me as much as he likes James._

Sirius felt himself drain out. Remus cared about Sirius so much – and he could be throwing it all away by simply reading the next page.

No dialogue.

Just the sound of the pages being flipped on and on.

---

Sirius was almost white when he had finished the diary. He definitely shouldn't have read that. He had seen why Remus wanted to keep that private. What a thing to share – even for Remus – who was usually Emotion Central.

He scurried over to the werewolf's trunk, opening the lid as silently as he could.

"Hey, Sirius – I was wondering if–"

No movement could have saved Sirius from what was about to happen. No words, no motions, no hiding anymore. It had happened too fast.

"–is that my dia– SIRIUS!" Remus shrieked, dropping his Astronomy books.

Sirius backed up hurriedly from the diary, lying near the unlocked trunk. He held his hands up defensively, feeling his throat clog up.

"I am so sorry!" He said apologetically. "I totally didn't mean to – I didn't read very far anyway–"

"YOU READ MY DIARY!!" Remus screamed. "THAT WAS PRIVATE!"

"I know!" Sirius responded, biting on his lip. "I feel awful, I really do – I never meant for you to find out!"

Remus was quiet for a moment, his back facing Sirius. Sirius hoped he would just start yelling again. It felt a lot better than this – waiting for Remus to tell him that their friendship was over.

_Perhaps he'll remember what I did for him. The Animagi. The persuading James and Peter to do it. Perhaps he'll forgive me… eventually._

Remus' breathing was loud and extremely heavy. Sirius gulped, his hands still up in the air as though he was being interrogated by the Ministry and there would be a wand near his throat.

Remus turned around again. It looked as though he was forced not to scream again.

"How much did you read?" He demanded with forced calmness. Sirius wished he would shout it out.

"I – all of it."

Remus looked at the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. I really am." Sirius said.

The werewolf turned away. "No… it is I who should be sorry. I guess we're not friends anymore?"

Sirius gulped. This is what he had been afraid of. "If… if that's what you want–"

"What? If that's what _I_ want?" Remus asked incredulously, dropping his anger or a moment.

"Er – yeah. Since I read your diary and all…"

"No – I thought that you – I mean, _you_ wouldn't want to anymore – I thought you'd be disgusted, completely revolted–" Remus mumbled disbelievingly.

Sirius hurriedly shook his head. "I – no! Of course not! I… I'm honored, Moony."

Remus sank onto his bed. "But… but you don't feel the same way. I really didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, Sirius, so how about we forget about it, not really make it a big deal? I mean, I'll get over it… eventually–"

Sirius, finally realizing that Remus wasn't going to shout at him or punch him or ask him to leave, threw himself at the foot of the bed, where Remus was sitting. And – crying?

The black-haired boy touched Remus' shoulders. "I had a dream," He muttered. "Where I kissed you. And I enjoyed it. In the dream… it – it had seemed as though I was in love with you."

Remus stopped crying for a moment. "What?" He mumbled.

"I want to kiss you." Sirius said, smiling rather sadly. And without waiting to be kicked in the groin or slapped over the head, he leant forward and brushed his lips against Remus'.

"It's funny," He murmured. "How much I really wanted that."

Remus smiled slightly. "I love you, Sirius. I could never _not_ want to be your friend. I forgave you before you even took my diary."

"Speaking of the diary." Sirius dashed over to his own trunk, pulling out a leather journal with _SB_ scratched onto the front sloppily with the edge of a quill. He thrust it into Remus' hands.

"There. I read yours. You should be able to read mine."

Remus grinned as he opened the first page, Sirius sinking down next to him and slipping an arm around his waist. He gave him a soft kiss on his neck.

"Maybe Divination isn't that bad after all."


End file.
